5.04.2011

my light at the end of the tunnel


i've decided over the past few months that the law and legal work is not my favorite.
don't get me wrong, i am really enjoying my new job. it's busy, i feel important, and i love the people i work with.
however, it can get really frustrating and overwhelming. every court in every county has a specific way of assembling papers- and they're all different. some things need to get filed electronically, some things get hand stamped. some packets need to be mailed certified, some need to be delivered in person. and all of these rules can change at any given time.
there's a lot to keep up with.
and since our firm deals mostly with debt collection, we do a lot of dirty work. we garnish a lot of people's bank accounts. mind you, they are the ones who put themselves in debt in the first place, but it still makes me uneasy. it breaks my heart when i'm receptioning and i get a call from a crying father asking how he is supposed to pay his rent, or from a mother telling me she won't be able to purchase food for her family this week because we've taken money out of her account. calls like these really get to me. its hard to keep my composure and sound professional when i'm answering "mam/sir, i can't do anything for you- let me transfer you to someone in our collection department."
so this morning i was running around like a chicken with its head cut off- going to court, delivering something, then back to the office, picking something else up and delivering it back to court. i was really stressed. i had lots of different packets to deliver all over the court house- one in particular needed to go in a box on the 16th floor. in the mornings the elevators are crazy busy. traveling from the 1st to the 16th floor without at least 5 or 6 stops is out of the question. so i speed walked to the elevators while dreading the thought of wasting my precious time taking an elevator up 15 floors and back down again just to put a stupid packet in a stupid box. the whole situation put me in a bad mood. i got inside the elevator, and in annoyance wondered how many times i would be stopping before i reached my destination. and then, at that very moment, something great happened.
on the 3rd floor the elevator made its first stop to pick people up, and when i saw who would be accompanying me my entire face lit up. it was a whole group of elementary school students on a field trip! i know this is ridiculous, but i was giddy. we immediately began conversing and they were so interested in every little detail. "why isn't there a 13th floor?" "what papers are in your bag?" "have you ever met a judge?" in return, i was equally curious about them. "you guys are on a field trip!?" "what grade are you in?" "what have you learned today?" sadly, they parted with me on the 11th floor. but somehow the 8-floor-long ride that i had with them completely turned my day around.
seeing those 15 (give or take) kids in that elevator totally motivated me. i was all pumped up and ready to deliver my stupid packet, because that's what i needed to do! i need my job so i can have money for tuition, and if i have money for tuition, that means i will most likely graduate. and that my friends, is exactly what i thought of when i saw those little field trippers.
i want to be a teacher so bad.
for as long as i can remember, i've wanted to teach in elementary school. i love teaching. i love being in front of a group and sharing with them. i love writing on whiteboards. i love the tiny desks. i love pencils and paper. i love helping people understand things. i know i'll regret saying this later, but i am secretly really excited to spend hours upon hours grading papers. i love grading papers. it honestly is a hobby. i used to beg friends to let me proofread their papers. i love lesson planning.
so even though i suck at law and i would make a horrible lawyer, this is what my job is for the time being. and in approximately 2.5 years, i'll be sitting in a room full of 8 year olds and loving every second of it.


i can't wait.

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